Bad Day

No wonder I did not want today to come. I knew it would be a bad day, and it was indeed a bad one!

1. One of my PKs at school mentioned my name during our meeting, saying that I had personally asked for permission not attending meetings on Thursdays and Fridays due to my studies commitment. What the heck? I told her a totally different thing, and she was telling everyone in the meeting a totally different thing. Why on earth does she do that? Why she didn't see & discuss personally with me before mentioning that issue in a general meeting? Gosh, I am so pissed of!
2. I just found today that I sent the wrong form for my approval of further studies. Darn it! No thanks to those incompetent officers, making my time & effort before this wasted. Now I have to do it all over again. 
3. Went home, hungry & angry. I asked my maid to prepare a tuna sandwich, and she did it not the way I had taught her. My kids refuse to nap. Huuaaarrgghhhh....

Hopefully Allah will give me a better day tomorrow, ameen.

I Have A Dream

I have a dream, a fantasy
To help me through reality
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness still another mile.

Every one has a dream, so do I. Currently, my dream is to hold a Masters degree. However, these few days, I have been feeling so emotionally low and physically tired that makes me very intrinsically unmotivated. These were the incidents that had made me so unmotivated:

1. One of my Senior Assistant Teachers observed my teaching. God bless me, she decided to give me 80% (read: only 80?? wth???). She even made some unjust comments about my teaching. She does not even teach like the way she commented on me. Ceh. Cakap tak serupa bikin punya orang.
2. One of the walls of my cubicle broke, thanks to those naughty, immature human beings in my school. Now, my private working place where I work & rest is not 100% safe any more. 
3. Presented a topic for my Language Teaching Methodology class. It was sucks. I have to polish on my presenting & speaking skills, no thanks to teaching English via Malay language.
4. Stupid Maybank officers told us to bring our matrimonial certificate in order to open up a joint account. Went back home, found the cert, went to another Maybank branch, and the latter told us 'eh, tak payah la, encik.' Rasa nak bunuh orang Maybank yg kat cawangan tadi. Because of them, we lost so much time, resulting in what we actually want to settle on that day, unsettled. I even missed my Research Methodology class. Yang dikejar tak dapat, yang dikendong berkeciciran. 

This week was hell. But I believe in Allah's promise: setiap kesusahan yang datang, Allah akan bagi tiga kesenangan.  I can't thank Allah enough for still lending me a very precious gift; my husband and two children, for them, I still can face another day. Seeing their faces lifts up my spirit and motivation, making all of my worldly problems insignificant. Chaiyok, chaiyok Syafwah. You can do everything!

Surviving Exclusive Breastfeeding- My Way.

My beautiful son is now 1 year and 6 months old. Time flies. It doesn't feel 18 months + 9 months (pregnancy phase) at all. It seems so surreal that I have actually breastfeed (BF) my baby for this long.

Since most of my friends now are married,and some of them are now already mothers and soon to be mothers, I really want to share my own experience of exclusive breastfeeding (EBF) with you all. I believe that no other milk in this world is more superior than mothers' milk. It is one of Allah's treasures for humans.

Let me first share this dialogue that happened some time ago.

Me: Susu ibulah yang paling baik. Tengok binatang, mana ada diorang bagi susu lain.

Makcik K: Yelah, sbb diorang xtau bancuh susu. Kalau diorang tahu, mesti diorang pun bagi susu botol. Senang.

Me: (silence. xtau nak cakap apa dah. cakap lebih2 kang, dikatanya aku ni kurang ajar.)

Soon after giving birth, I couldn't wait to BF my son. Nurse kt hospital tu siap kena marah dengan I sebab dia bagi my newborn baby susu botol although I have told her not to do so. Direct breastfeed (DBF) was not easy for both of us at first. Tangan lenguh, belakang sakit. Then bengkak susu. Pastu, manual breastpump yang tak berkualiti menyukarkan lagi keadaan. I should have not listened to this person's advice to not to buy a breastpump yet because you may not need it. So I didn't do any survey on breastpumps; ended up buying 2 pumps before I finally bought Medela Swing. I definitely look forward to using it again for my future babies.

I thank my mother for her advice to start pumping and storing milk as soon as the baby is delivered. Alhamdulillah, berkat nasihat ibu, I dapat store up to 60 auns of EBM, which was my ultimate solution sebab terpaksa masuk kerja sebelum habis pantang. Baru 38 hari dah terkepit2 berjalan naik turun tangga kat sekolah. Kalaulah x pam awal2, mmg terpaksa bg susu lembu...

Kat sekolah, berkepit dengan breastpump selama 8 bulan. Orang lain, masa free gi rehat, minum2 kat kantin, I gi nyorok nak mengepam. It was unbelievable to think back that I managed to juggle between all the school workload and pumping. Nak seribu daya, tak nak seribu dalih, kan?

Unfortunately, during fasting month, my milk supply dropped. I could not produce enough milk stock for my baby. So, he started drinking formula milk, which he hates so much until today. Now that he is cleverer and wiser, he will wait for me to pick him up from his nanny's home.

Some mothers prefer formula feeding than BF. Senang kata mereka. Memang pun, bila anak nak susu, just bancuh dan anak tu minum sendiri. But with BF, you are glued to ur baby. Xboleh nak buat apa sangat. Lagi2 kalau keluar shopping, time anak nak susu, kena pulak cari tempat yang sesuai dan selesa. Nak tinggalkan anak susah sebab dia x nak susu botol. Tapi, disebabkan anak tu melekatlah, terasa kasih sayang mengalir dalam badan dia. The baby will feel the love and love us back too.

From my experience yang xseberapa ni (sebab anak baru sorang), there are few tips I want to share:

1. Importantly, pray to Allah swt that you will have good flowing supply of milk for your baby. He is the ultimate Giver.
2. Choose a baby-friendly hospital to give birth. Baby-friendly hospital will make sure ur baby is with u within 1 hour of giving birth and they will educate you about BF.
3. Get a good pump and get pumping as soon as your baby is born. JANGAN MALAS! Pump everytime you feel sore. Pump the other one yang baby tak susu, e.g. kalau baby susu belah kanan, pump belah kiri.
4. Wear comfortable lingerie. Unwired is the best.
5. Buy a nursing cover/poncho so that u have the freedom to nurse ur baby in public.
6. Eat healthily. Now, your baby is what you eat and drink. Cut down caffeine intake.
7. Last but not least, enjoy the nursing time walaupun tengah malam buta. Cuddle and kiss your baby, because the baby soon will grow up and doesn't want to be cuddled or kissed.

Please don't be lured by formula milk 'power' : 4X DHA, gangliosida, no added sugar and whatnot. Whatever they say, our milk is still the best! And I am very thankful that my dear husband, Mohd Hasbullah bin Basir supports me all the way. Love you!

Malaysian Teachers = Jack of All Trades

I am becoming sick of being a teacher in Malaysia. Teachers in Malaysia are not treated like teachers in the UK, for example. Teachers there are so much respected and being a teacher there means you have a really good professional job. But, here in Malaysia....

Let's take today newspaper headline: Cegah Murid Gemuk (Prevent students to becoming fat). In the news, it is reported like this:

Beliau berkata, turut dipersetujui pada mesyuarat itu ialah mengambil data berat dan ketinggian pelajar untuk dimuatkan dalam buku rekod masing-masing sebagai panduan kepada ibu bapa bagi memantau pertumbuhan anak-anak mereka.

“Tugas berkenaan akan dilakukan guru darjah dan segala maklumat akan dicatatkan pada setiap penggal persekolahan. Dari situ ibu bapa boleh melihat keadaan anak-anak sama ada beratnya ideal dengan ketinggian berdasarkan umur mereka. Turut dicatatkan cadangan kepada ibu bapa akan langkah-langkah yang perlu dilakukan untuk mengurangkan obesiti pelajar,” katanya.

What the heck? Why on earth they just simply decide that teachers are the 'lucky' ones to weigh and measure the kids? Why didn't they ask us, the teachers first before they make the decision? Do they think we come to school and do nothing? Well, I do remember being weighed and measured when I was in primary school 18 years ago. But, those days, I don't think teachers were burdened with so much work as nowadays. The new millennium teachers have to deal a lot of 'necessary' tasks such as buku adab belajar, kad 001, SMM, as well as dealing with millennium kids' behaviours. For goodness sake, we also have to teach than 50 pupils a day, plus all the marking chores etc etc, they still think we have time to calculate BMI. I don't even know my own BMI, because I don't even know the formula to get BMI.

Giving the kids' BMI data to their parents won't solve the obesity problem if the parents do not even care about it. What if the parents don't even know what the numbers really mean? Then, we, teachers, after being a mathematician, we have to be dieticians and explain to those ignorant parents.

I am so pissed off at those Datuks and ministers and Drs. for making such a lame decision. They may have the titles before their names, but they have proved to us that they don't have good brains. People have eaten their first food at home, not at school. Thus, home is the right place to start cultivating young children the healthy eating habit, not at school. Those hands that feed the child should teach the child what to feed himself.

Be My Own Boss!

I have been thinking recently about whether to pursue Masters or start my own business. But now, I have made up my mind. I want to start my own business, pursuing my true dream.

Sebab utama yang menyebabkan saya buat pilihan ni adalah saya mahu kepuasan diri tanpa ada tekanan orang atasan. Yelah, kalau ada Masters and PhD pun still jd orang bawahan. Nak jadi bos, mau tunggu dah tua, baru dapat merasa pangkat tinggi since Malaysia sangat mementingkan seniority dalam perkhidmatan, as well as 'kipas mengipas' (realiti kt sekolah, kt jabatan lain xtau la cmne). Lagipun, saya ni memang jenis degil sikit, alamatnya lagi lambat la kot nak naik pangkat, hahaha xD Lagi-lagi kalau kerja dengan GB dan PK-PK yang emo dan xberapa cekap buat kerja dan asyik suruh orang lain buat kerja dia.

I know my current profession is a very noble one: building a future generation. But the thing is, I am no longer have that much passion to stay and do the same thing for another 30 years. Plus, with the political influence interference in our education system (oh, plus the school politic also!), I rather step down; do the thing I most passionate about and have a hell of good times with my family with freedom. No more I have to think about calling in for MC, CRK etc if I can't come in. No more feeling guilty for thinking of the effects of my absence to school (e.g. jaga seorang anak yang sakit, or tak mengajar 70 - 90 pupils). Earn more money too! ;p

However, this will only be a reality after I have completed my contract. 3 more exciting years.

For you, my son.

This songs says everything that I want to say to you.

You will always be my baby, no matter how old you will be.

Sometimes I wonder

How I'd ever make it through,

Through this world without having you

I just wouldn't have a clue

'Cause sometimes it seems

Like this world's closing in on me,

And there's no way of breaking free

And then I see you reach for me

Sometimes I wanna give up

I wanna give in,

I wanna quit the fight

And then I see you, baby

And everything's alright,

everything's alright

When I see you smile

I can face the world, oh oh,

you know I can do anything

When I see you smile

I see a ray of light, oh oh,

I see it shining right through the rain

When I see you smile

Oh yeah, baby when I see you smile at me

Baby there's nothing in this world

that could ever do

What a touch of your hand can do

It's like nothing that I ever knew

And when the rain is falling

I don't feel it,

'cause you're here with me now

And one look at you baby

Is all I'll ever need,

you're all I'll ever need

Sometimes I wanna give up

I wanna give in,

I wanna quit the fight

And then I see you baby

And everything's alright,

everything's alright

My Carrot Cake

I am obses with this super flexible fruit/veggie. It is flexible because it can be made into different types of food: juice, main dish (buat sayur tumis, makan ngan nasi) and dessert.

I think no other fruits can beat carrots.

I love carrot cake. To buy them from bakery...it is quite expensive, plus I don't trust the taste - too much additional stuffs (raisins etc). So better bake my own.

So here is the recipe should you want to try.

1 cup corn oil (I just use Naturel oil)

1 cup caster sugar or 1/2 caster and 1/2 dark brown sugar

2 cups of self-raising flour - sifted

3 eggs

3-4 carrots - finely shredded and squeezed (don't want the juice)

zest and juice of an orange

1 teaspoon of ground cinnamon

1 teaspoon vanilla essence

optional: add in dried fruits or chopped walnuts

Method:

1. Beat oil, sugar, eggs, essence, cinnamon, zest and juice until light and fluffy.
2. Add in other ingredients and mix well.
3. Bake in oven preheated oven for 45 mins - 1 hour. Check your cake with a cake tester. The cake is cooked if the tester comes out clean.

The cake tastes better after a few days, not freshly baked for the ingredients will need more time to blend in together after baked. Store the cake in an air-tight container, in the fridge. Once you are ready to eat the cake, make this yummy cream cheese frosting.

1/2 cup unsalted butter

250gm cream cheese

1 1/2 to 2 cups icing sugar - sifted

Beat the butter and cheese until smooth and creamy. Add in sugar gradually and beat until you get a smooth and glossy frosting.

I, myself have baked this cake 3 times in a month; that is how good it is! And it is nutritious, better than butter cake! Good for Raihan too!

The Ice Cream Tragedy

School holiday is always wanted by teachers more than students, I guess, for I am a teacher and I do enjoy school holidays more than my students do. Cuti akhir tahun ni yang paling best sebab cuti yang paling panjang sampai kadang-kadang sampai bosan rasa rindu pula pada sekolah.

Oleh sebab terlalu bosan, mulalah minat terhadap pencuci mulut, desserts menguasai diri. So I browsed the net, watched various Youtube videos, and recently I had the itch to make my own ice cream (since I have the machine but never been used). Maka saya pun mencari resepi dan cara-cara nak buat aiskrim di Youtube, until I came across a video.

Nak jadi cerita, sebab punyalah semangat nak buat aiskrim, lepas tgok video tu saya cepat-cepat ke dapur and gather all the ingredients needed. When I have done the first step which is making the custard based, my sis complaint that it was very very sweet. I confidently told her that when it becomes ice-cream, the sweetness will go away. She was convinced, and she watched the video that I watched. Guess what, I had made a very silly mistake-I heard the man wrongly: he said 3/4 cup of sugar, I heard 3 cups of sugar!!

To make the ice-cream less sweet, I decided to make a double batch of ice-cream, without sugar and mix with the earlier, sweet batch. Alhamdulillah, the batches came together nicely.

And now, I have 3 batches of ice-cream of different flavours, to gulped down. Anyone care to join me?

Moral of the story: Listen carefully, research more before you do something!